Quote

From a side character:

"I've no character at all, but where does one get character from? Either you have it or you don't. You have. Everyone says you have. Where did you get it? Why don't I have any? Sometimes I think I'm cut out of paper, just acting like a person. They tell me I'm an utter coward. What can I do about that? being an utter coward?"

The main character shrugs and responds:
"Act like you're not."

- Best Served Cold, by Joe Abercrombie

Truth

Face things head on.
Don't avoid.
Blindness does not make things disappear.
Focus.
Clarity.
Strength.

Delight

I disappeared today.
With a jolt, I reappeared.
I had forgotten that it happens sometimes.
I am glad that I can still do so, even now.

Parents

Sometimes parents are difficult.

But other times, parents are for advice.

Poetry that speaks

“The puppet thinks:
It’s not so much
what they make me do
as their hands inside me."

- Charles de Lint

Fool that I am

That blue skies and sunny days could be so pretty.

This is what I must do:
Fill my heart so many lovely things, plans for the future, reminders of laughter and friendship - that there might be no room for regret or envy or dark things.

It is a form of God hunting, I suppose.
God, where are you?

Prayers that wing up to the heavens.

Is this, then, a prayer?

Thanksgiving reflection

I am very, very blessed.

Due to a strange turn of events, I ended up in Houston instead of Dallas for Thanksgiving. And was able to spend time with family and friends. Which was a delightful surprise because I so very rarely visit Houston. And I think I have already established how fond I am of that city and a lot of the people there (extremely).

I am thankful for safe driving.

I am thankful for Steph:
- Who opened her house graciously as a phenomenal hostess. [Honeycrisp apple cider, brie and raspberries, zucchini bread, sprinkles cupcakes, sparkling cider.]
- Jinya and delicious ramen that I just had to shove into my face because it was that good
- late night conversations that flow into the dreaming hours of the morning about questions and searching and love and truth and friendship and conversation that just remembers who you are, who they are, why you are both still such good friends after all these years.
- mud masks and chocolate stout and fairly average action movies

I am thankful for BASIC and Karen:
- slightly facetious because I'm just glad I could see more people and have a game night with random BASIC people, and for the host to open her house. It is a very generous thing to open one's house to so many random people/strangers. And I totally crashed the party.
- seeing the CCF "freshmen" who are now seniors (where is the time going?)
- meeting interesting new people.
- winning nerts <3 and playing resistance

I am thankful for family:
- because my cousin is a great cook and generous with his time and space and willingness to help
- for my mother, because she is always a treasure and a comfort to any loneliness or frustrations
- for my father, because at the end of the day, I know he loves me
- for my brother, because he is always blunt and truthful
- for being a support

I am thankful for my friends:
- game nights again, yes.
- but also have the kind of conversation that exposes people and shows how different your ideals can be - and yet to still be friends. talking and discussing and debating and seeing why.
- in the end, relationships are not an absolute. And sometimes there is a give and take.
- Diplomacy is always useful. Someday I will learn to be more graceful in my words.

 Thanksgiving is a time of thanks. Doesn't always feel like it what with a focus on turkey and shopping. Or even when times are rough and it's easier to complain than to reflect on thankfulness. But with good food, friends and family, good conversation, silly moments and laughter, there is always so much to be thankful for.