A Case for Christ.
It's sort of a baby apologetics book. Highly biased and definitely skewed for (probably born in the church) baby Christians to dip their toe into the foundations of logic behind Christianity. Reading it with my group because a lot of us were interested in apologetics ish.
So far, in the first chapter - only one thing has stuck out as vaguely new to me: An analogy about explaining a subject with an agenda. Eye witness accounts are less favorable for me because they are highly dependent on human accuracy - and everyone knows that human error margins are enormous. But the analogy goes something along the lines of: who are those who document the Holocaust? The Jews. Sure they are biased, but they are the ones who have the most investment in it to present the truth. (I did literally zero minutes of research to back that statement up, and the book had pretty much no solid citations on this statement too - so maybe it's a false analogy). Regardless, this is probably one of the first times I can think of a situation where a biased party has such a vested interest to present the facts.
But that isn't the point. I wasn't even planning on writing anything down until we started discussing.
Umm... I think I have very hard time with born in da church Christians who aren't thinkers.
Primarily because I don't understand their rationale for staying in the faith besides that it is the easy way out. If you are born in the church, "staying" Christian means you will not ostracize your family, or probably a lot of your friend group, or give up your "raison d'etre".
This might be completely wrong and arrogant of me to say this, but I feel like every born in the church Christian should have a moment in their life where they are willing to walk away from their faith if it truly isn't what they believe. Rather than the comfort of the social factor or the friends and family and the safety net of being Christian to make you stay Christian.
Pure heart motives, right?
If it isn't right, if it isn't true, if this isn't what I believe - if I cannot reconcile all of these problems I have with the Bible and theology, why should I be a Christian?
But if it is right, if it is true (maybe I should also add, if it is good), then there I have my answer that cannot be shaken. And then perhaps the more minute problems can be reconciled by faith.
[But honestly. Sometimes I play a mental game of hypothetical situations with myself. A game where I ask myself: Can I leave it behind?
To test myself of the bonds I have created for myself. Friendships, relationships, hobbies, interests, faith. Could I leave it and everything that comes with it? What ties me down? What do I stay for? It's a truth meter, of some sort. To expose any hidden motives and see clearly why I do what I do. Do I read this book because I find it interesting or because I just want to say I've read it? Do I truly enjoy this? Am I friends with this person because of convenience or because I enjoy their presence? Hidden motives. Something like that. It is best not to lie to yourself, and hidden motives are a form of lie.
I've played that game with my faith before. At Urbana. Because if I could not, then am I Christian because I could not leave and it is just easier to stay or because I truly believe?
It is not a game I play often, but I see my faith stronger for it. (What holds me to Christ? Trust in him and nothing else. Not the community, not the approval of my family, not the friendships. If I can walk away from that if I truly did not believe, then what holds me but Christ himself?) And it really is no game at all when I play with these kinds of stakes.]
Ugh, I have not structured my thoughts out in a clean manner.
I was going to make some remarks about foundation for believing and thinking and feeling but meh. I think it would probably come out wrong and I don't have the energy to pick my words more wisely.
Something something about feelings versus facts/thinking as a foundation.
I think coming out of the group discussion, I am just very very grateful that college gave me the space to think through a lot of difficult questions and place a firmer foundation for what I believe. If I did not, it would have made these years much more difficult or less meaningful because I do not have time to spend thinking about all those little questions and questing and searching and asking and pondering for answers. If I had not the foundation I had gained from ccf, I am pretty sure I would have drifted (at least a little). It's hard enough as it is.
tl;dr
Apologetics are not the foundation for believing in Christ, but they are certainly (for me) a rough edge I need smoothed out before I can hold on to my faith without cutting myself. And I am glad I went through most of it during college.
boo... blogger deleted my original comment
ReplyDeletewas going to say... that's why i feel like it's not complete or enough for people to say "oh i grew up in the church" when asked how they came to faith.
ReplyDeleteshould add this to our next-time-talk. love reflecting on the faith journey of people-born-in-the-church.
mmm yeah, i kept this off my post - but i wonder if it's right for me to feel worried(?) for the people who are born in the church but don't have that sort of moment. am i judging their faith/condescending? but that's a whole other blog post in and of itself.
Deleteyea judgment is tricky. mmm i think in a way, we should be like paul in romans. he knows and points out how his own people have failed to recognize Christ, and all of these seemingly judgey things. but in his judgment, you can tell that he has such a strong love and hope and desperate desperate desire for his countrymen to come to know Christ. it's not a dismissive or condescending judgment. so for us, i think we can judge (although judge with caution and humility, since God alone knows our hearts and how far each of us has come), but it's what you do with that judgment and where your heart is that really indicates if you're reflecting Christ's heart. when you see cultural christians who haven't had that moment yet, do you feel compassion for them? are you praying that they would have that kind of moment or faith-discovering struggle? or encouraging them along whatever walk they have?
Deletefor me, i confess i was a lot more condescending before of those kinds of people (for example, getting super frustrated and judgey when i saw people who go to church for social reasons.... hence why i would be like NO SOCIAL NIGHTS FOR SMALL GROUP. ONLY BIBLE STUDY). and in the end, i think it was actually the sin of self-righteousness. but through talking with others about how they approach ministry, reading romans (and the emphasis on grace to ALL because we all fall short), and just reflecting on my own journey as a person-growing-up-in-the-church, i realize just how much compassion and mercy God has on everyone. and how it all comes back to God's grace. and so instead of being dismissive or frustrated, i hope and pray and labor for the hope that God can meet those people where they're at and give them the same faith-confronting moment that He gave me. God has definitely changed my heart with regards to that.