It was really great seeing so many people that I haven't seen since college. But it's like a sampler pack - too many and only just a little taste. I wish I could have a real conversation with so many people there. Dude. I could have had so many hour long conversations with SO many people. Argh. But the extent of the conversations were so minimal, it's almost just like making an appearance, or reminding people that you still exist.
It's like so many missed opportunities/possibilities. Yeah yeah I know I had bridal party duties, but still. I wish, you know?
I wonder if this is how it feels in the post college life. Each opportunity to sit down, talk, catch up just passes you by because there's so many people you'd like to do that with and so little time. And then obligations too and then other parts of life. And then each time you see them, you promise yourself you'll catch up with them or send a message to see how they're doing. I mean, really doing. Not just that bullcrap I'm doing okay, life is fine. But maybe you don't. And then you see them again at another sampler pack gathering type of reunion where it's all hi and I've missed you so much let's catch up next time. And maybe you don't.
And is this how connections fizzle out instead of breaking?
Yeah, of course there's the whole "you grow out of your friends" thing. But this... This is more of life trampling over it all, a pinch of laziness, a large dose of different priorities, and a huge bucket of effort.
Or maybe it's just that you have to accept that you have only so much energy for a few key friends in your life, and it's okay to give up the possibilities and half tentative friendships. Priorities?
It's still a little sad.
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