Some sits on a dusty corner of that old childhood bookshelf.
Others are worn down to pieces as strangers touch.
And nowadays, more and more are on glowing screens
as anonymous comments or pictures of inspiration.
Your friends take a couple with them
when they leave for different cities.
Your family will always have more
than you expect, maybe too many.
And no one else knows this,
but you also hide one underneath your covers,
in the place where no one can hear you.
Like a trail of breadcrumbs
or maybe like a shattering of stone,
leave yourself in pieces.
And maybe someone will
go on a treasure hunt for you.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Poetry
The Quiet World
In an
effort to get people to look
into
each other’s eyes more,
and
also to appease the mutes,
the
government has decided
to
allot each person exactly one hundred
and
sixty-seven words, per day.
When
the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without
saying hello. In the restaurant
I
point at chicken noodle soup.
I am
adjusting well to the new way.
Late
at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly
say I only used fifty-nine
today.
I saved the rest for you.
When
she doesn’t respond,
I know
she’s used up all her words,
so I
slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two
and a third times.
After
that, we just sit on the line
and
listen to each other breathe.
---
this is too beautiful.
Monday, July 28, 2014
dinner parties and duty
After a crazy whirlwind week (an event, a quiz, a transmodule, a midterm), I am finally getting some time to breathe. But not too much, because there are still many more things to do. (club meetings, applications, emails, fifth week, hosting? etc).
So, slept two hours, finished midterm (not bad, but i really could have known more stuff), watched a musical and a movie with kiera, went to go do club activities for 2 hrs. And by then, we pre-decided that we were feeling social enough to host a dinner party. It was really quite fun and I am vaguely amused at the turnout of people.
Definitely over-thought about the composition of people and who would get along with the others and if it would be fun and what could we talk about and eat and drink and stuff... ugh, I am amazing at over-thinking.
And then finally we decided to post on fb about it after all.
I completely suck at having different groups of my friends together. One on one is great - you can dig deep and talk about all sorts of stuff and empathize and understand. A group sometimes feels like nine on one. Sometimes. Because it's no longer about understanding, it's about entertaining. Are people feeling welcomed, is everyone talking, is anyone uncomfortable, has everyone eaten and drank enough, are there enough seats, does everyone get along, does everyone like this game? And that's just for the people coming! For myself, do I play the hostess, or do I joke and carry the conversation, or maybe the topic is straying to medical school too much and I ought to include the spouses in some other discussion, or introduce a new game, how to fill the silence, or tell a funny situation to the group. I need to think up of stock situations that are interesting to keep as storage for empty silences. Am I thoughtful or am I joking around? Do I initiate more intimate conversation with a bored single person or continue to talk with the entire group? Who to draw attention to, who to lessen the spotlight? At least give everyone a few moments to speak and make their presence feel important. Smile and share eye contact with a bored person to maintain feeling of a shared connection of an inside joke.
Those are the least of the thoughts running through my head before and during. And after, as I'm trying to figure out if it went well and what didn't and if I would do anything different for the next time.
I am amazing at over-thinking.
But I think it went well, sort of. There are definitely things that could have been done better. I think some of the eh problem was the personalities that came. Seriously, from five different friend groups. I've never balanced so many collisions before. Even one collision is hard. But it was okay because it was more like an introduction from everyone (and everyone just knew me). Hum. That makes it sound like I was the center. No, not the case. I just knew everyone somewhat.
I didn't expect one of them to act ummm differently when tipsy, one of them to even come, another to be mostly silent, and etc. I am really, really impressed and grateful for phil though. He is just really empathetic and able to mirror emotions - he has the right amount of personality to move slightly crass situations along and make the right jokes at just the right time. To make people feel comfortable. I am just really impressed. But I think it is an inherent (extrovert??) quality, not a learned one (despite how much I attempt to learn those types of skills). But I will try anyway.
Overall, success. Sangria and pizza and artichoke/spinach dip and sweet dessert. Interesting conversation (with a few cringe moments, but not from me). A lot of get-to-know-you's. A life update from a friend. A connection made between the non-med school ppl. It's good. And I'm not a hermit like the rest of days.
Again, I am too competitive with hardcore games - but ahh it's just too much fun!
fishbowl:
cerulean
discus
easter egg
fable
feet
ferrari
cup
pitch
penguin
boom, three word associations. short term memory - activate!
---
On duty:
I am most frustrated with people when I believe there is responsibility or duty. And I honestly think there is duty in a friendship. Perhaps even more so in a Christian friendship. So when people don't fulfill their (or my expected of them) duty, I am just frustrated because I don't know if they don't feel like putting in the effort or it's not important to them or they're just lazy or don't care or what. And if it's not important to them, ugh. I'm offended - probably because I care. The feeling I'm left with is something like: you ought to have done that. Why didn't you?
It's not even an unspoken duty - it was clearly laid out and agreed with by everyone for the week. Ugh. If it were unspoken, I wouldn't be as frustrated because sometimes people just don't hear what you hear or read between the lines. But it was clearly stated.
And then ignored. two of them!! that's 40%. ughhh
I am patient (this is me encouraging myself). I can be patient and understanding. I will be patient and understanding and try to put myself in their shoes and understand that maybe it was just more of a burden than I see it.
(I can be patient, but I honestly think my esteem of them drops a little because I think, oh this is how you are)
---
random insert:
had to buy oreos and artichokes and cheetos and a whole bunch of other things. ended up getting a "free" thing of coffee because the cashier forgot to put in through the belt and I already paid and the line behind me was huge. convenience is the key...
So, slept two hours, finished midterm (not bad, but i really could have known more stuff), watched a musical and a movie with kiera, went to go do club activities for 2 hrs. And by then, we pre-decided that we were feeling social enough to host a dinner party. It was really quite fun and I am vaguely amused at the turnout of people.
Definitely over-thought about the composition of people and who would get along with the others and if it would be fun and what could we talk about and eat and drink and stuff... ugh, I am amazing at over-thinking.
And then finally we decided to post on fb about it after all.
I completely suck at having different groups of my friends together. One on one is great - you can dig deep and talk about all sorts of stuff and empathize and understand. A group sometimes feels like nine on one. Sometimes. Because it's no longer about understanding, it's about entertaining. Are people feeling welcomed, is everyone talking, is anyone uncomfortable, has everyone eaten and drank enough, are there enough seats, does everyone get along, does everyone like this game? And that's just for the people coming! For myself, do I play the hostess, or do I joke and carry the conversation, or maybe the topic is straying to medical school too much and I ought to include the spouses in some other discussion, or introduce a new game, how to fill the silence, or tell a funny situation to the group. I need to think up of stock situations that are interesting to keep as storage for empty silences. Am I thoughtful or am I joking around? Do I initiate more intimate conversation with a bored single person or continue to talk with the entire group? Who to draw attention to, who to lessen the spotlight? At least give everyone a few moments to speak and make their presence feel important. Smile and share eye contact with a bored person to maintain feeling of a shared connection of an inside joke.
Those are the least of the thoughts running through my head before and during. And after, as I'm trying to figure out if it went well and what didn't and if I would do anything different for the next time.
I am amazing at over-thinking.
But I think it went well, sort of. There are definitely things that could have been done better. I think some of the eh problem was the personalities that came. Seriously, from five different friend groups. I've never balanced so many collisions before. Even one collision is hard. But it was okay because it was more like an introduction from everyone (and everyone just knew me). Hum. That makes it sound like I was the center. No, not the case. I just knew everyone somewhat.
I didn't expect one of them to act ummm differently when tipsy, one of them to even come, another to be mostly silent, and etc. I am really, really impressed and grateful for phil though. He is just really empathetic and able to mirror emotions - he has the right amount of personality to move slightly crass situations along and make the right jokes at just the right time. To make people feel comfortable. I am just really impressed. But I think it is an inherent (extrovert??) quality, not a learned one (despite how much I attempt to learn those types of skills). But I will try anyway.
Overall, success. Sangria and pizza and artichoke/spinach dip and sweet dessert. Interesting conversation (with a few cringe moments, but not from me). A lot of get-to-know-you's. A life update from a friend. A connection made between the non-med school ppl. It's good. And I'm not a hermit like the rest of days.
Again, I am too competitive with hardcore games - but ahh it's just too much fun!
fishbowl:
cerulean
discus
easter egg
fable
feet
ferrari
cup
pitch
penguin
boom, three word associations. short term memory - activate!
---
On duty:
I am most frustrated with people when I believe there is responsibility or duty. And I honestly think there is duty in a friendship. Perhaps even more so in a Christian friendship. So when people don't fulfill their (or my expected of them) duty, I am just frustrated because I don't know if they don't feel like putting in the effort or it's not important to them or they're just lazy or don't care or what. And if it's not important to them, ugh. I'm offended - probably because I care. The feeling I'm left with is something like: you ought to have done that. Why didn't you?
It's not even an unspoken duty - it was clearly laid out and agreed with by everyone for the week. Ugh. If it were unspoken, I wouldn't be as frustrated because sometimes people just don't hear what you hear or read between the lines. But it was clearly stated.
And then ignored. two of them!! that's 40%. ughhh
I am patient (this is me encouraging myself). I can be patient and understanding. I will be patient and understanding and try to put myself in their shoes and understand that maybe it was just more of a burden than I see it.
(I can be patient, but I honestly think my esteem of them drops a little because I think, oh this is how you are)
---
random insert:
had to buy oreos and artichokes and cheetos and a whole bunch of other things. ended up getting a "free" thing of coffee because the cashier forgot to put in through the belt and I already paid and the line behind me was huge. convenience is the key...
Thursday, July 24, 2014
graduate school, a prayer
feeling a little sorrowful for many of my friends - hopefully not in an arrogant or condescending manner.
but oh Lord! Why are so many of my friends wrestling with their spiritual lives?
I think it is graduate school, it's this stage of life.
I mean even myself. It's been hard to keep good perspective of importance. This entire first year last year was just me strugglebusing and pretending i was in control the entire time. fake it till you make it right? until not really.
But now that I feel like I'm mildly on my feet and I am honestly praying for other people (and not just those selfish prayers, or those help-me-Lord), I am struck all over again by how important it is to pray for other people. And how much other people need it. Heck, I need prayer.
It's like that sermon on Sunday. Do not disdain a self-sacrificing gift because you are not doing so out of humbleness. That is a lie. You are denying it because of a unconscious arrogance that you do not need it.
And for prayer. Oh, Lord. Those I know, keep them carefully in your hands and lord, just remind them of your grace, your beauty, your strength, and your everlasting presence.
I lift these people up to you Lord, because you have the power to change them, to give them the strength to change their stagnation or their situations.
Their fears - remind them that You are stronger! If you are for them, then who can be against them!?
If they have forgotten what is most important, remind them. Not the things of this world, not the grades we receive, the things on our resumes, our status in life, not even the social interactions we have with people. But you, oh lord.
Remind them, Lord. Remind them. Remind me. Do not let us forget that we are yours.
but oh Lord! Why are so many of my friends wrestling with their spiritual lives?
I think it is graduate school, it's this stage of life.
I mean even myself. It's been hard to keep good perspective of importance. This entire first year last year was just me strugglebusing and pretending i was in control the entire time. fake it till you make it right? until not really.
But now that I feel like I'm mildly on my feet and I am honestly praying for other people (and not just those selfish prayers, or those help-me-Lord), I am struck all over again by how important it is to pray for other people. And how much other people need it. Heck, I need prayer.
It's like that sermon on Sunday. Do not disdain a self-sacrificing gift because you are not doing so out of humbleness. That is a lie. You are denying it because of a unconscious arrogance that you do not need it.
And for prayer. Oh, Lord. Those I know, keep them carefully in your hands and lord, just remind them of your grace, your beauty, your strength, and your everlasting presence.
I lift these people up to you Lord, because you have the power to change them, to give them the strength to change their stagnation or their situations.
Their fears - remind them that You are stronger! If you are for them, then who can be against them!?
If they have forgotten what is most important, remind them. Not the things of this world, not the grades we receive, the things on our resumes, our status in life, not even the social interactions we have with people. But you, oh lord.
Remind them, Lord. Remind them. Remind me. Do not let us forget that we are yours.
Chance Encounters
I had the strangest encounter today - and also probably the most thought-provoking conversation I've had in a while.
Was mildly debating the importance of Christianity denominations with a quasi-friend (why am I not better friends with this guy?) when an old, white man jumps into our conversation.
A few sentences later and I have to part ways with my quasi-friend and I'm talking to this guy alone.
Turns out he's a pastor and heavily involved in CMDA. Kinda interesting.
I have a problem with authority (i know i know) especially when I don't believe it yet. So his tone is a little bit too "let-me-teach-you-young-one" for me to swallow with humble grace. But it's interesting.
Here is the question:
Does everything need to have a label?
His answer was yes.
I, being facetious, replied: including love?
He nodded and said: Yes, this is why Paul wrote about love in Corinthians ... etc.
I quickly retracted my example because I do think marriage is a form of a label to define love - as well as dating and such.
This is fascinating. Because, believe you me, I am the queen of labels. Sometimes I don't believe I'm friends with someone unless we have both professed "friendship" and confirmed that we are friends. I label my thoughts. This is angry because of that. This is emotional because of this. I label sections in my blog posts.
A consideration:
A rant:
A thought:
etc.
But one thing that I do not label is my denomination. If someone asked me my religion, the only answer really is Christian. But if you ask for denomination, I say nondenominational, but probably closest to Southern Baptist. I've never really found it necessary to figure out all the odds and ends of the different types of Christianity because I figured what I believe is the Bible and that is the end of that. Nondenominational suits me just fine. (Not to mention, both of my churches have been labeled "Chinese churches" which usually end up nondenominational anyways).
But talking to this dude, he was saying something along the lines that nondenominational just doesn't want the responsibility of submitting to specific theology.
Interesting. Is that true? I'm not sure. I think for myself, it was mostly ugh it's just a bunch of finicky people arguing about (most of the time) not so important aspects of Christianity. I highly subscribe to the idea of Mere Christianity, where the fundamentals are the most important. When I mentioned this, though, he brought up the idea that not all groups of Christianity could be defined as Christian (he mentioned Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons). So defining your denomination could make a difference in terms of Christianity.
Fair enough. I accept that as true.
But is it important for me to figure out my own "denominational label"? I just really don't think so.
Or is that not true? Because the denomination and the different sects split on major issues of the Bible and other aspects. And I think I do know all my stances on the different topics - I just don't quite know the names of all of them.
Sometimes I feel like - for me, as long as God and I know, everything else doesn't matter.
But like baptism, it is important that the world knows? I end that sentence on a question mark because I am not sure.
One doesn't need a denomination for salvation. God makes that clear. But to show your stance in the world? Maybe?? Is nondenominational just hedging one's bets?
Am I neglecting my faith if I do not know exactly which sides of these topics I stand on?
Regardless of the faith topic as well, this whole conversation also leaves me with the question of: does everything need a label?
He left me his card and the encouragement to email him to continue the discussion as "friends".
I am just amused.
Probably not, because I need to trust someone's ethos before I go asking for their opinion and advice. But I probably will see him around.
I haven't had a question-thought like this in a while. Mental candy. Quite fun.
Was mildly debating the importance of Christianity denominations with a quasi-friend (why am I not better friends with this guy?) when an old, white man jumps into our conversation.
A few sentences later and I have to part ways with my quasi-friend and I'm talking to this guy alone.
Turns out he's a pastor and heavily involved in CMDA. Kinda interesting.
I have a problem with authority (i know i know) especially when I don't believe it yet. So his tone is a little bit too "let-me-teach-you-young-one" for me to swallow with humble grace. But it's interesting.
Here is the question:
Does everything need to have a label?
His answer was yes.
I, being facetious, replied: including love?
He nodded and said: Yes, this is why Paul wrote about love in Corinthians ... etc.
I quickly retracted my example because I do think marriage is a form of a label to define love - as well as dating and such.
This is fascinating. Because, believe you me, I am the queen of labels. Sometimes I don't believe I'm friends with someone unless we have both professed "friendship" and confirmed that we are friends. I label my thoughts. This is angry because of that. This is emotional because of this. I label sections in my blog posts.
A consideration:
A rant:
A thought:
etc.
But one thing that I do not label is my denomination. If someone asked me my religion, the only answer really is Christian. But if you ask for denomination, I say nondenominational, but probably closest to Southern Baptist. I've never really found it necessary to figure out all the odds and ends of the different types of Christianity because I figured what I believe is the Bible and that is the end of that. Nondenominational suits me just fine. (Not to mention, both of my churches have been labeled "Chinese churches" which usually end up nondenominational anyways).
But talking to this dude, he was saying something along the lines that nondenominational just doesn't want the responsibility of submitting to specific theology.
Interesting. Is that true? I'm not sure. I think for myself, it was mostly ugh it's just a bunch of finicky people arguing about (most of the time) not so important aspects of Christianity. I highly subscribe to the idea of Mere Christianity, where the fundamentals are the most important. When I mentioned this, though, he brought up the idea that not all groups of Christianity could be defined as Christian (he mentioned Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons). So defining your denomination could make a difference in terms of Christianity.
Fair enough. I accept that as true.
But is it important for me to figure out my own "denominational label"? I just really don't think so.
Or is that not true? Because the denomination and the different sects split on major issues of the Bible and other aspects. And I think I do know all my stances on the different topics - I just don't quite know the names of all of them.
Sometimes I feel like - for me, as long as God and I know, everything else doesn't matter.
But like baptism, it is important that the world knows? I end that sentence on a question mark because I am not sure.
One doesn't need a denomination for salvation. God makes that clear. But to show your stance in the world? Maybe?? Is nondenominational just hedging one's bets?
Am I neglecting my faith if I do not know exactly which sides of these topics I stand on?
Regardless of the faith topic as well, this whole conversation also leaves me with the question of: does everything need a label?
He left me his card and the encouragement to email him to continue the discussion as "friends".
I am just amused.
Probably not, because I need to trust someone's ethos before I go asking for their opinion and advice. But I probably will see him around.
I haven't had a question-thought like this in a while. Mental candy. Quite fun.
Monday, July 21, 2014
quote
"When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people."
this is a good quote. i will remember this.
Fascinating
I love it when stuff like Greek mythology and medical terminology comes together~
Apparently Syrinx is a nymph that escaped from Pan and turned into hollow water reeds - of which Pan used to make his pan pipes.
"Syrinx" is the Greek word for "tube".
And that's the etymology for the word "syringe" and also "syrinx".
Of course we know what a syringe is, but a "syrinx" is fluid-filled neuroglial cavity in the spinal cord (syringomyelina) or in the brainstem (syringobulbia) or in the nerves of the elbow.
I love it~
Apparently Syrinx is a nymph that escaped from Pan and turned into hollow water reeds - of which Pan used to make his pan pipes.
"Syrinx" is the Greek word for "tube".
And that's the etymology for the word "syringe" and also "syrinx".
Of course we know what a syringe is, but a "syrinx" is fluid-filled neuroglial cavity in the spinal cord (syringomyelina) or in the brainstem (syringobulbia) or in the nerves of the elbow.
I love it~
Dedication
I've realized how sparse this blog is in actual content after talking to a friend.
And after briefly going through some of my favorite bloggers' words, I think I will try to not be as guarded. Try to avoid only the quips and vague turn of phrases. Maybe more book reviews, poetry, and devos. Something like that.
Might not happen overnight. But in the future. Anticipatory sort of thing.
And after briefly going through some of my favorite bloggers' words, I think I will try to not be as guarded. Try to avoid only the quips and vague turn of phrases. Maybe more book reviews, poetry, and devos. Something like that.
Might not happen overnight. But in the future. Anticipatory sort of thing.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Self Reliance
There's almost no doubt in my mind now.
I will [most likely] stay.
Generally I only hope to take away one thing from a sermon. But today, the entire time my mind was racing with implications.
Of self reliance the ability to let others serve me.
This is something that needs a lot of time to flesh out in all of its emotional intensity and right now I have little.
I will [most likely] stay.
Generally I only hope to take away one thing from a sermon. But today, the entire time my mind was racing with implications.
Of self reliance the ability to let others serve me.
This is something that needs a lot of time to flesh out in all of its emotional intensity and right now I have little.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Overdue
I am overdue for a vulnerable post. I can feel myself counting the number of posts I've had since I decided I need to be vulnerable on blogger again.
Instead of all these little snipbits of life that is mostly surface-y conversation and small talk. All true, but never really that deep. Daily life is different than the midnight musings.
Because midnight musings are the heart of myself. It's the answer you are actually trying to hear when when you ask how is your day?
not the "fine" or "alright, how about you?"
I've yet to really share anything truly meaningful that has made me ponder and struggle. And now that I've re-remembered that... well.
Instead of all these little snipbits of life that is mostly surface-y conversation and small talk. All true, but never really that deep. Daily life is different than the midnight musings.
Because midnight musings are the heart of myself. It's the answer you are actually trying to hear when when you ask how is your day?
not the "fine" or "alright, how about you?"
I've yet to really share anything truly meaningful that has made me ponder and struggle. And now that I've re-remembered that... well.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Patience
This will be a trial of patience.
I think I have a low tolerance for chatty people who tell long, extended stories (esp if I think it's a story with little substance, or I think that you could have summed up that 10 min story in about 5 sentences).
But I am blessed with two chatty people.
I think I have a low tolerance for chatty people who tell long, extended stories (esp if I think it's a story with little substance, or I think that you could have summed up that 10 min story in about 5 sentences).
But I am blessed with two chatty people.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Quite Frankly
Quite frankly, my darlings, I am feeling marvelous.
Even though there's a quiz tomorrow and I'm not exactly 100% prepared, I'm pretty close, I'd say.
But today was just marvelous.
Even though the church I went to didn't have AC the entire time and was probably about 87 degrees F, I quite liked it. The worship was beautiful and I felt like I knew people. People were friendly, the sermon was so-so, and I think I will stay. In the end, it really is the people that makes a church, a community.
I think I tried too hard at the Mission. It could have worked, I am pretty sure, if I put in more time, more energy. But it got to the point where it was more of a trial than a place to praise God with other people.
Today was quite marvelous. Yesterday was good. Games (telephone-pictionary that made me literally cry from laughing so hard) and cake. A few internal cringe moments, but other than that, it was good. Yesterday was good.
But today was splendid, despite studying for most of the day.
(I know my dorsal column/medial lemniscus pathways, I know my lesions, my anxiety meds.)
But beyond that, it is because I actually feel like things are changing in the right direction.
Grounding myself in a church, starting something I've always wanted to do but never really could bring myself to commit, making certain I have adequate time to study, being on top of emails, being on top of lecture, and also not being content with the friendships I have already made and treasured - but actively going out and seeking to make connections in this place.
It is a good day.
It is a marvelous day.
And all glory to God
Even though there's a quiz tomorrow and I'm not exactly 100% prepared, I'm pretty close, I'd say.
But today was just marvelous.
Even though the church I went to didn't have AC the entire time and was probably about 87 degrees F, I quite liked it. The worship was beautiful and I felt like I knew people. People were friendly, the sermon was so-so, and I think I will stay. In the end, it really is the people that makes a church, a community.
I think I tried too hard at the Mission. It could have worked, I am pretty sure, if I put in more time, more energy. But it got to the point where it was more of a trial than a place to praise God with other people.
Today was quite marvelous. Yesterday was good. Games (telephone-pictionary that made me literally cry from laughing so hard) and cake. A few internal cringe moments, but other than that, it was good. Yesterday was good.
But today was splendid, despite studying for most of the day.
(I know my dorsal column/medial lemniscus pathways, I know my lesions, my anxiety meds.)
But beyond that, it is because I actually feel like things are changing in the right direction.
Grounding myself in a church, starting something I've always wanted to do but never really could bring myself to commit, making certain I have adequate time to study, being on top of emails, being on top of lecture, and also not being content with the friendships I have already made and treasured - but actively going out and seeking to make connections in this place.
It is a good day.
It is a marvelous day.
And all glory to God
Saturday, July 12, 2014
My life in four lines
Took a selfie during family vacation.
Dad sees and asks. I tell him it's a selfie.
He nods. Then says.
Can you take a selfie for me?
---
Told my accountability group that we ought to limit
our talk to ~2 hours. Everyone agrees.
We stay on topic and get done in 1.75.
Then stay around and talk for another hour and a half.
---
Got to know a girl better. I asked about her life
and personality and ideas and thought process.
She got to know me better
as she asked about my love life.
-____-"
---
Decided to focus on people around me.
Until I found out on facebook ccfers were dating.
Had to immediately call a friend
because I am still so invested in my old fellowship.
---
Started to listen to rain when I study
because of A-
Started feeling colder when I study now.
I think there's a correlation.
---
Ran out of groceries in the house.
Tired.
Decided it's easier to just drink tea
than drive 10 minutes to get real food.
---
Met up with an old friend
who hadn't changed one bit.
Told me I still have Karen mannerisms.
Which doesn't surprise me anymore.
---
Went to a house warming to play some games.
Only two girls,
When they asked what we should do
Of course I had to introduce Resistance.
---
Neuro.
Pathways.
Study.
Study.
Dad sees and asks. I tell him it's a selfie.
He nods. Then says.
Can you take a selfie for me?
---
Told my accountability group that we ought to limit
our talk to ~2 hours. Everyone agrees.
We stay on topic and get done in 1.75.
Then stay around and talk for another hour and a half.
---
Got to know a girl better. I asked about her life
and personality and ideas and thought process.
She got to know me better
as she asked about my love life.
-____-"
---
Decided to focus on people around me.
Until I found out on facebook ccfers were dating.
Had to immediately call a friend
because I am still so invested in my old fellowship.
---
Started to listen to rain when I study
because of A-
Started feeling colder when I study now.
I think there's a correlation.
---
Ran out of groceries in the house.
Tired.
Decided it's easier to just drink tea
than drive 10 minutes to get real food.
---
Met up with an old friend
who hadn't changed one bit.
Told me I still have Karen mannerisms.
Which doesn't surprise me anymore.
---
Went to a house warming to play some games.
Only two girls,
When they asked what we should do
Of course I had to introduce Resistance.
---
Neuro.
Pathways.
Study.
Study.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
One AM
I hate my neighbors.
Hate is a strong word, but ughhhhhh. It's Sunday night and they're having a party or something. And that freaking dog....
Already asked them to turn their music down once >.<
I really dislike my neighbors. Let me sleeeeeeep!!!!! I have school tomorrow!!!
It ain't January 1st
It ain't January 1st, but my resolutions are holding alright. :)
Feeling happier about things in general.
---
Also....
Reasonable hours that neighbors can be loud: daylight hours and Friday/Saturday night.
Otherwise, keep your music down!!!!
Feeling happier about things in general.
---
Also....
Reasonable hours that neighbors can be loud: daylight hours and Friday/Saturday night.
Otherwise, keep your music down!!!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
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