Restarting

Blogging challenge to remind myself to write a little more. Which is actually strange because I think that I have put writing on the back burner in the past few months; and (subsequently?) have also found myself feeling as if I had unresolved thoughts that have just never been settled and filed properly.

I think I've not been writing as often because I feel as if there's not much to say here. It's just mundane days of residency and trying to survive and live life and think about the future. I foresee this blogging challenge resulting in blogs of very random topics.

----

I think my mentality of relationships is becoming skewed and twisted from going on so many dating app dates. i started going mostly because it was a direct, actionable response for whenever i think, it would be nice to have a significant other. especially in the south, where more than half my co-interns are seriously dating, engaged, married, or married with kids. and i really don't like not trying to fix my problems - because if you don't actively try to do something, then i really don't believe you have any right to complain about it. because obviously you aren't bothered by it enough to change your actions/life. so i go on stranger dates.

and they're all... strangers. it's easy because talking to a stranger is just asking questions. but really what i'm trying to say is that - i think i discard people too easily now. maybe there is something wrong with my brain. unless they are my friend (established and defined), i just feel like i really don't owe them anything. which is fairly callous.

maybe something is wrong with me emotionally. that i can leave people too easily.