Got to assist today. Was pretty cool.
Cartilage graft.... was like trying to get a camel through the eye of a needle. lol.
But on a serious note (not even a fashion one):
I need better shoes.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
On Thoughts:
1. Small Group:
A blessing I had not expected. I had some inkling at the very beginning, but I did not imagine that even half a year that met for less than 3 hours a week could become this close.
Skeptical heart, powerful God.
And all praises to him.
2. Contentment and Ambition
It is a strength and a weakness, depending on how far you go on either. The eternal struggle of student of always wanting to do better - but still knowing that God does not depend on your works or your grades for his love or for you to do his will.
I think this entire issue goes back to "heart motives" as Steph would probably say. Where is your heart? What are your intentions? It is not wrong to want to do well. No, isn't that why God gave us all talents and put us where we are? But if it consumes you. If you do not step back and remind yourself of the why. If the school is just for school; if grades are just for grades; if your time is just for you, you, you. Then where is your heart?
3. Chronic sins.
This.
This is the hardest thing one can share - even with people you trust. Because it is something that feels like it cannot be shaken, sometimes. If next week goes as is, then we will see.
Shine light on the darkest of all sins.
And these are the ones that are set in pitch black, buried under shame and struggle that has faded into apathy.
I am so weak. I am so weak, Lord.
4. 1 John.
Conviction in its hardest form. But love in its most wonderful as well. He says to us, "little children". He says to us, "Beloved". And we are. But we cannot forget to do things in deed and truth as well. Not just in words.
I really like Urbana's inductive reading style. And it is working out very well for us.
5. Updates
I see the things that people share as gifts. Unexpected, but fearfully given.
I say to people: do not be a stranger.
But when distance is so far, how can you expect someone to be open?
And when time is so small, how can I expect anything?
Do friendships slowly fade away, like photographs under the sunlight?
And are we who we are even after all the time has changed?
6. Fear
The fear that I am not good enough. It is that old fear that always creeps up. Not good enough to do everything that I set out to do. Not a good person, a good friend, a good student, a good daughter, a good Christian. All of the identities that I try to claim.
Fear of the future. How can I not be afraid when the future looms in front of me?
7. Time
How fast time moves!
8. Tiff's treats.
One is coming to San Antonio!
9. Winter
I am not made for cold weather.
As such, my favorite thing right now is a mug of hot milk tea.
10. Chasing after the wind.
A blessing I had not expected. I had some inkling at the very beginning, but I did not imagine that even half a year that met for less than 3 hours a week could become this close.
Skeptical heart, powerful God.
And all praises to him.
2. Contentment and Ambition
It is a strength and a weakness, depending on how far you go on either. The eternal struggle of student of always wanting to do better - but still knowing that God does not depend on your works or your grades for his love or for you to do his will.
I think this entire issue goes back to "heart motives" as Steph would probably say. Where is your heart? What are your intentions? It is not wrong to want to do well. No, isn't that why God gave us all talents and put us where we are? But if it consumes you. If you do not step back and remind yourself of the why. If the school is just for school; if grades are just for grades; if your time is just for you, you, you. Then where is your heart?
3. Chronic sins.
This.
This is the hardest thing one can share - even with people you trust. Because it is something that feels like it cannot be shaken, sometimes. If next week goes as is, then we will see.
Shine light on the darkest of all sins.
And these are the ones that are set in pitch black, buried under shame and struggle that has faded into apathy.
I am so weak. I am so weak, Lord.
4. 1 John.
Conviction in its hardest form. But love in its most wonderful as well. He says to us, "little children". He says to us, "Beloved". And we are. But we cannot forget to do things in deed and truth as well. Not just in words.
I really like Urbana's inductive reading style. And it is working out very well for us.
5. Updates
I see the things that people share as gifts. Unexpected, but fearfully given.
I say to people: do not be a stranger.
But when distance is so far, how can you expect someone to be open?
And when time is so small, how can I expect anything?
Do friendships slowly fade away, like photographs under the sunlight?
And are we who we are even after all the time has changed?
6. Fear
The fear that I am not good enough. It is that old fear that always creeps up. Not good enough to do everything that I set out to do. Not a good person, a good friend, a good student, a good daughter, a good Christian. All of the identities that I try to claim.
Fear of the future. How can I not be afraid when the future looms in front of me?
7. Time
How fast time moves!
8. Tiff's treats.
One is coming to San Antonio!
9. Winter
I am not made for cold weather.
As such, my favorite thing right now is a mug of hot milk tea.
10. Chasing after the wind.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Recent Interest
Recently been getting interested in stuff like skin care (i.e sunscreen, moisturizer, cleansers, whatever).
As such, this song is great.
As such, this song is great.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Empathy part II
We only know how to relate things to our own experiences.
Think of this like that, but better (or worse). It's about relativity.
I think I can understand grace a little better now, in the best and worst way possible.
Being completely and utterly convinced of your failures.
Resigned to the consequences you have made for yourself
Bracing yourself for the consequence
And only receiving grace and empathy.
It is undeserved. You know it is undeserved.
It is not relief. It is not a feeling that "you got off the hook" because you didn't, not really.
It's a bit of disbelief. Why would you? You had every right...
It's a bit of awe. Or maybe that's not the right word. Gratefulness, or love, or utter respect. That grace is given rather than condemnation.
But I extrapolate.
Regardless, I think I understand a little better.
Think of this like that, but better (or worse). It's about relativity.
I think I can understand grace a little better now, in the best and worst way possible.
Being completely and utterly convinced of your failures.
Resigned to the consequences you have made for yourself
Bracing yourself for the consequence
And only receiving grace and empathy.
It is undeserved. You know it is undeserved.
It is not relief. It is not a feeling that "you got off the hook" because you didn't, not really.
It's a bit of disbelief. Why would you? You had every right...
It's a bit of awe. Or maybe that's not the right word. Gratefulness, or love, or utter respect. That grace is given rather than condemnation.
But I extrapolate.
Regardless, I think I understand a little better.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Empathy
Empathy is such a strong thing.
Obviously more than platitudes
Miles above apologies or a sorry
Greater than sympathy
But the things is.. you had to have gone through a similar experience.
To understand...
In this way, how can someone who holds themselves apart understand anyone?
It is easier. It is safer, yes.
But not better.
Obviously more than platitudes
Miles above apologies or a sorry
Greater than sympathy
But the things is.. you had to have gone through a similar experience.
To understand...
In this way, how can someone who holds themselves apart understand anyone?
It is easier. It is safer, yes.
But not better.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Scents
Smell is such a strong part of memory recall.
There is such a rush of nostalgia when I
breathe in chamomile tea
catch a whiff of Estee Lauder's White Linen
pass by the white blossoms of a pear tree
There is such a rush of nostalgia when I
breathe in chamomile tea
catch a whiff of Estee Lauder's White Linen
pass by the white blossoms of a pear tree
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