Surgery and Crap

Fourth art line. Second try, with a few hiccups.

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Told the anesthesiologist that I was thinking about general surgery and he gave a whole spiel about how it's really hard to be a female surgeon. He goes on and talks about a lot of surgeons's wives who are also physicians - and invariably they are internal medicine, family, peds, etc etc (i.e. not surgery). And then also a female surgeon who loved her job, fell in love, married another surgeon, and now she's a mom now. Not practicing. And the husband dude is still a surgeon. And then he says, all that training down that drain - to be a mom.

And then he says, "You know [insert other senior partner, who is a female surgeon]? She has dogs. No kids. You'd like to think you can have it all, [family and career], but..." he shrugs. "Make your choice on what you can live with."

How utterly annoying.

I get really annoyed because there's no way he'd say any of that to a male student. And it freaking pisses me off because it's not like he has had to struggle with any of that. And it seriously makes me angry because it's basically saying, what - because you have two X chromosomes and can carry a baby, you probably shouldn't go into these specific specialties - unless you just want to have dogs and no family. And it's so frustrating because it's not like he is actively trying to be rude; he was honestly trying to give advice as he sees it. But that's what his words boil down to, right?

I hear it. I do. And my response is a bit of a screw you, thanks. Because at the heart of it, maybe it's naive and crap, but that I really think I can have it all. But realistically, I know something would probably have to give. There is only so much time and energy.

It is not often that I think this, but times like these I can't help but think that it would be so much easier to be a guy.

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