Idle Thoughts

1. I think the older I get, the more and more I appreciate my parents. (Or it that distance makes the heart grow fonder? not sure.)

2. I'm sick to my bones of studying. Woke up at 8:30 on a long weekend because that's how my body rolls now. There's an infinite amount that you can study. It is never enough, to be honest. I will always be behind. 

3. Dancing

- Okay, lots of thoughts here. But I think I really, really enjoy two stepping because it's a partner dance. They talk about it like it's a conversation. And that's just so interesting. Movement as words, intentions in the pressure of the hand, preempting movements, waiting and receiving, what you do if you misread a cue. It's a conversation of body movement and I love it. And the most interesting thing is just how different each person can dance. It's like intonation of your voice, or an accent, or the pacing of your sentences. The verbage that you choose. Do you slide or shuffle? A hitch to the right or a swagger of the hips? A strong grip? Sure, it's all the same dance, but it's different with each person. 

How well can you lead? How well can you follow? A firmer touch? Or a refusal to follow? Nobody is "right" or "wrong", but you can definitely mess up a step. Who's fault is it? Maybe nobody's. 

It's all about timing and being receptive to cues. 

I had a fantastic time trying to lead for a little bit. It kinda screws with the head a bit because you're playing opposite day and going with the other foot, other hand. But also your cues need to direct! It is definitely harder to be a guy in this case.  

--

continued:

4. Yoga is very calming.
- My favorite quotes:
"I don't need to do this out of hatred for my current self, but out of love for who I want to be."
and
"Everything is practice. You are exactly where you are supposed to be."

5. Cooking
- going to try moussaka because of S-. I just might have to go and try to make all the mother sauces for different recipes at this rate!

6. Profound Loneliness
- I think loneliness is a creeping thing. There was a poem that captures how I feel better than I could put in words:

"do not
put
your hand
in the mouth of loneliness.
it’s teeth are soft
but it will scar you for life."

(Nayyirah Waheed)

The conversations that say nothing at all make me lonelier than silence and being alone.

 7. Keyboard. I really, really want a keyboard with me right now. But I don't know if I can justify dropping 200+ just to satisfy a hobby/desire. Ugh money. It's weird because I am really starting to see where people put there money and their importance/priorities. Lesson for me before I start making any money.