Interlude

Sometimes I wonder if I am stupid or something.

I know, it's that whole "impostor syndrome" where you feel like everyone around has got it down pat and you're the only one who doesn't belong.

But man, I'm feeling it so much these days. I just feel like the gap of knowledge between me and the resident and the attending and heck even the PAs is ridiculous. Or in didactics, I'm just like... am I the only one who didn't know that?

Or why can't I remember things? I know I've learned them, and it is so freaking obvious when the answer is shown. But in the moment, I'm just sitting there and my mind doesn't know where to go.

Am I just an idiot who can't synthesize the material and apply it, while everyone else can? What is going on?

Ugh. I don't like these types of days.


-addendum-
i just need to shut my face.

sometimes i just want to say something because i feel like it's witty or clever - but then it just comes out half mean, half deadpan, and 100% not funny.

Today is just not my day.